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Marc Mason is a freelance writer based in Tempe, AZ.

Friday, January 16, 2004  
Whatever Happened To?

Whatever happened to musicians who understood what it means to be a musician?

The main goal of most bands used to be: play loud music, then fuck hot chicks. It didn't matter if the guys in the band were attractive or not, and they didn't have to try to be. They were in the band or they were the starring solo artists. Period. Music+Songs= Poon. A very simple equation.

The last thing that they were supposed to do was write songs specifically for the purpose of getting themselves laid.

John Mayer has to be the worst offender these days. You listen to his songs and you can just imagine his face in the studio as he lays down another track. "Ahhh. Another effort that will assure me all the chicks I can handle and more. Woo hoo!" It's no coincidence that the chorus lyric "Your body is a wonderland" can easily be replaced with "I'll get all the ass I can." For fuck's sake.

Even Aerosmith, a band that used to be kings of the "pick a groupie to blow me backstage" scene has slid into making wretched power ballads like "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" that make the young girls swoon. Christ. It's like they finally realized they were older than dirt and decided to whip up musical Viagra.

I miss the old days.


7:16 PM

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