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Friday, December 31, 2004
THANK GOD IT'S OVER
There were a lot of great things about pop culture in 2004. SPIDER-MAN 2. Netflix. Sirius Satellite Radio joining Dish Network. The Olympics. The Red Sox. LOST. SCRUBS. Reading the BATTLE ROYALE novel and A GENTLEMAN'S GAME, the QUEEN AND COUNTRY novel. Watching SO CLOSE, RETURNER, and the late 90s GAMERA trilogy on DVD. ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY. I could go on.
But in the final analysis, 2004 was one of the worst years of my life on a personal level, one that I'd mostly like to forget. It sucked serious monkey balls. It shat on my cereal. It was one kick in the balls after another. 2004... I'm glad it's dead. I'm glad it's dead.
2:46 PM
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Monday, December 13, 2004
THE STORY OF THE YEAR
Looking back at the year in popular culture, on the surface it could be difficult to pinpoint the most important story of the year.
On television you have the emergence of shows like LOST and DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. The continued excellence of SCRUBS. WITHOUT A TRACE began to find the audience it truly deserves as ER steadily declined. In movies, the year opened with RETURN OF THE KING dominating the multiplex and the Oscars. SHREK 2, SPIDER-MAN 2, and THE BOURNE SUPREMACY proved that sequels didn’t have to suck. Jamie Foxx stepped up and became a mainstream star. In music Usher essentially took over the world… until U2 returned and reminded people why they’ve long been thought of as the world’s greatest rock band. Great stuff all around. On a personal note, Sirius Satellite Radio came to Dish Network, and I’ve never been happier to listen to my television in my life. God bless Alt-Nation and the new music and bands it has brought into my life.
But this year, the medium was the message.
2004 was the year that the battle lines were drawn between the forces of freedom and the pencil-dicked bureaucrats and censors at the FCC who decided that they were the arbiters of America’s taste and culture (well, them and the self-appointed PTC). 2004 was the year where Janet’s tit put us on a perilous path towards the totalitarian state.
What’s obscene? What’s indecent? Everyone has a different definition. However, people like the PTC asshats believe that their definition is the only one that counts, and for whatever reason, they have their hands far enough Michael Powell’s ass to make him puppet along to their spam efforts at filing complaints about programming. What these jackoffs don’t seem to possess is the capability to change the damned channel. I guess you can only train a monkey so much before it just starts to get bored and starts throwing his shit at the passersby.
Lawsuits, threats, idiocy… if it wasn’t real, you wouldn’t be able to write it, because it’s too goddamned dumb. But there’s a war underway now, one in which we are actually forced to cheer for FOX?
Hit with a nasty fine over one of their programs, FOX has come up with a novel (and likely successful) way of challenging that fine: the V-chip. You remember that, right? Legally has to be in all Vs built these days? Backed heavily by Al Gore? Well FOX’s viewpoint is that because the TVs are all equipped with the chip, and people can control it, they shouldn’t be fined because the stupid motherfuckers who want to protest didn’t block the damned show and it’s their fault for not doing so.
Brilliant, really.
I could go on and on about the hate that the FCC and the PTC inspire in me, but my blood pressure might get a little wonky. Frankly, I think it’s a matter of time before a group of people band together and sue the shit out of the PTC under RICO statutes. Some of their tactics are pretty close to being problematic as far as restraint of trade issues and interstate commerce issues. Out there is a clever lawyer looking for a way to make them suffer for being the fuckwits that they are. I can’t wait. I want to join. But in the meantime, there’s a war to be fought, and there are multiple fronts. I know which side I’m on…
I’ll see you on the battlefield.
7:38 PM
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